How to Manage Being Shy or Nervous – 3 Key Questions to Ask Ourselves

Plenty of parents and teachers want to know how to help  teens “come out of their shell”. They look for inspirational stories for teens so that their own kids or their students can feel empowered. Are you working with young people, or are you a teen or young adult looking for guidance yourself? Here are three important questions to ask for overcoming shyness, at any age.

1. When do I feel strongest?
   The first question may seem obvious, but we need to really assess what makes us happy and confident so we can find out why. What makes us feel like we fit in and belong? What makes us feel capable and powerful? Answering this shows us where we feel our strongest and most comfortable. Identifying and playing to your strengths helps build confidence for new experiences in comfortable ways.
2. What scenarios make me feel the worst? What do I really fear?

This one helps us see what our limits are. We can define the problem areas so we know what to avoid. We all have the “nightmare scenario” that we would hate to be in. What is yours? Is it a presentation in front of a large group? Is it an interview for a university or job? What is it that we fear, or what have we done that we felt we were really bad at in the past? The answer will highlight situations you need to put a strategy in place to manage. If you can’t stand meeting people in large groups then walking into a new classroom could be terrifying for you. Whenever possible, take small steps to ease your way in so that it isn’t overwhelming.

3. How can I change my perception of this scenario to make it manageable?

Not every new situation will be fun and exciting. Sometimes we find ourselves in

situations where we just want to shrink into a corner and disappear. But when we realize that is a situation we are in, we can modify it to make it more fitting to our strengths.

Most people have an area of their life that they feel that they excel in. Some students are great at maths and science. Others prefer performance arts, or sports. The key to creating your OWN inspirational story is asking yourself these questions in your own life. Maybe you like sports because there are clearly defined rules that direct game play. Following a structure might help guide you to your best performance! If you’re that type of person and you’re given an open-ended task to complete, it may feel impossible to do. Getting direction and guidance will make all the difference, and help you focus! Just ask yourself these questions in difficult situations, and be willing to make the effort to change your outlook! You’ll be amazed at the difference your analysis will make.